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On Discovering the Universal Conspiracy of Adults


 It is remarkable to me that my whole life I have missed the overwhelming amount of innuendos present in every aspect of life.  

I have been horrified, amused, embarrassed, and slightly miffed when suddenly, something that was totally innocent when heard or seen by innocent eyes and ears suddenly takes on a whole new meaning to my newfound, adult, married ears.  


I’ve come to the conclusion that at least 90% of all material and conversation has either a hidden or double meaning. And most of them actually aren’t that hidden! 


Some would argue that what I’ve discovered is merely a sign of the sexualizing of our culture.  


Um, no. I would have agreed before, but a quick search of music, movies, and books from the 1800s to the 1950s proves that this conspiracy is NOT a new thing.  

The only thing that’s new is the fact that younger and younger persons are discovering the conspiracy.  


Well, in most cases. I am one of the few late discoverers.  


Tis funny- I never really considered myself that naive and rather resented being treated as such. I’m now realizing how much went right over my head. 


Think about the movies you watched as a kid. I dare you to rewatch your favorite cartoons looking for adult meanings. Or listen to the “golden oldies”. Or try eavesdropping on a few mothers having a conversation. 


It is truly disturbing! 


But THAT is not the worst part… I am being sucked into the conspiracy.  


Just the other day I caught the dreaded words poised, about to depart my lips. The words that excited frustration in the most docile child- “You’ll understand someday, when you are older.” Not only that, but I’m pretty sure the unforgivable adult smirk that always accompanies the tell-tale phrase was visible on my face.  


Alas, I fight against it, but I fear I will soon be taken over to the dark side. 











About goatgirlbookworm

My name is Toni Clegg, and I was raised on a farm in the far north of the United States. I love to read and write and I hope to use those hobbies in a greater way in the days to come. One of my passions is using whatever influence I have to make a difference in the world.

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