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Autistic Alice: A Dream?

Last night I watched the original Disney cartoon of Alice in Wonderland and after that, spent some time reading Livvie Owen Lived Here, a book from the perspective of an autistic girl.

My allergies were bothering me, so before heading to bed, I took some Benadryl.

I fell asleep and found myself in a terrifying world where everything was upside-down. Somehow I knew that if I said the right words, everything would be okay again.

But the words were elusive. I tried and tried to say them, to capture them with my tongue. Words and sounds came out, but they were all jumbled and wrong.

I woke up in a cold sweat, mumbling nonsense phrases desperately like a mantra. Stumbling into the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of water and drank it with shaking hands. Still, over and over in my mind, phrases and words strung themselves in circles.

I grabbed a blanket and headed for the couch, not wanting to wake my husband.

I slipped back into my dream as if I’d never left.

All night I waged a war, trying to commandeer my words. They pranced and danced about me, just outside my grasp.

It suddenly struck me this morning- is that what it is like for someone who is autistic? A world upside-down? Filled with backwards things and elusive words?

Is Alice’s nightmarish Wonderland the way our world appears to an autistic child?

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About goatgirlbookworm

My name is Toni Cross, and I was raised on a farm in the far north of the United States. I love to read and write and I hope to use those hobbies in a greater way in the days to come. One of my passions is using whatever influence I have to make a difference in the world.

One response to “Autistic Alice: A Dream?

  1. slpmartin

    An interesting supposition…I thought more of the person who has suffered a stroke and lost the ability to communicate there thoughts to the outside world because of expressive aphasia.

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