Infinite Agony… By Toni Cross

You infiltrated the atoms of this heart
The essence of me is ripped apart
 This suction inside of me
 This vacuum where you should be
My blood pours out into pools
From a gaping wound, scarlet dribbles and drools
Your roots once crept into my soul
And now I’m nothing but an empty ghoul
Wandering lost in my own skin
 Breathing air that’s hopeless and thin
Oh to sleep and not to dream
Without this pain, unending scream
Infinite second of agony
Never, ever cutting me free

All my tears of rage are shed

I’m left here to live as if I were not dead



craving yada… by Toni L.A. Cross

craving yada
risking all for the sake of unfathomable possibility
to be known completely by someone else
like the taste of one’s own breath
or the smell of rain
naked and vulnerable like a newborn babe
fragile throbbing essence of self
cast into the trust of another
eyes scrunched shut for the terrible leap
ingrained survival screaming within
by a infinite yearning
higher and deeper than the need for water
more desperate than a lung’s demand for oxygen
craving yada


יֹודֵעַ (yo-dey-ah)
This is the verb yada meaning “to know” but written in the participle form meaning “knowing” a present action. In Hebrew the verb yada means much more than to know. It means to have an intimate and interactive relationship with its subject.