Tag Archives: mothers

“The Mother” by Gwendolyn Brooks: A Different Sort of Poetry Reading

I created the following poetry reading on an impulse. This poem speaks to me- I’m not sure why, but it does. The rawness of the anonymous mother who grieves her aborted babies echoes my own heart’s desperation, as I long for my miscarried little one.

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Kay’s Story (Part Sixteen)

Stop! This is the sixteenth episode!

Looking for the beginning of Kay’s Story?

Kay looked up as the rattling sound of a shopping cart filled the early morning air. Every little noise seemed louder with a sleeping baby to think of. The night before had been absolutely exhausting. Destiny woke up screaming on the hour and refused to be comforted.

Now, she was fast asleep, looking like a tiny angel. What was somebody doing with a shopping cart this far from the store anyway?

She stood and peered out the window, feeling slightly annoyed. A lone figure hobbled down the sidewalk, pushing a cart piled high with random trash and disheveled belongings. It was Bonnie, the local equivalent to a bag lady. Though she looked much older, she couldn’t be more than forty years old. The church had tried putting her in housing, but time after time, she’d hit the streets again. Sometimes she would talk someone into driving her to the nearest bus station and she would disappear for months only to mysteriously return.  The wanderer came to a sudden stop directly below Kay’s perch. I hope she doesn’t park herself in the entryway. That’s the last thing I need.

Slowly, the woman’s gaze scanned upward, coming to rest on the face peering down from above. Kay flushed and jerked back, pulling the curtains shut.

Instantly, shame washed over her. Lord, I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but people like her just make me so uncomfortable! Help me to see beyond the outside. Kay scolded herself as she reached for her coffee and drained the dregs, before slipping it into the sink. Sighing, her thoughts shifted abruptly towards the day ahead.

Thankfully, Destiny was dressed in a cute sleeper that looked fine for going out in. Changing a sleeping baby wouldn’t be fun. Brain had compromised on her schedule, saying that she could bring Destiny with her, two days a week. The only stipulation was that it could not affect her productivity or her attentiveness to customers. Pausing in front of the mirror, she ran her fingers through her hair, mussing it into a semblance of style. A swipe of blush brought some color to her pale face and a bit of concealer hid the dark circles under her eyes. Ever so carefully, she transferred the baby into her carrier, grabbed the bulging diaper bag and started down the stairs.

To be continued…

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Kay’s Story (Part Fifteen)

Stop! This is the fifteenth episode!

Looking for the beginning of Kay’s Story?

I’m going to be a mother!

This statement of realization is usually followed by another eight or so months of pregnancy for most women. For Kay, it was her giddy chant as she made her way down the steps of the courthouse. She practically skipped all the way to her car.

The process wasn’t completely over yet, there was still a six month trial period before the adoption could be finalized. But today was the beginning! Today, Destiny Marie was coming home!

At the hospital, Makayla greeted her with a warm embrace. “I knew you could win this! Congratulations. I know you will be a wonderful mother to little Destiny. Here are the release papers. The doctor signed them earlier. You can take your baby home, Miss Kay!” Together, they bundled the baby into her shiny new carrier.

Makayla leaned forward and kissed Destiny’s forehead softly. “You get your happily ever after, Child. It’s about time somebody did.” She straightened up and faced the proud new mother. “Kay, you two come visit me sometime, you hear?” She brushed a happy tear from her face and grinned. “Get outta here, Girl. What are you waitin’ for? You’ve spent more time in here than any healthy person should.”

Kay laughed, scooped up the carrier and started down the hall. “That is for certain. Bye, Makayla! Thanks for everything.”

As she buckled the car seat into her car, tears suddenly sprang to her eyes. “God, thank you for this baby you’ve given me.” She prayed out loud during the short drive home, listening in wonderment to the incredible sound of contented cooing coming from behind her.

 To be continued…

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Kay’s Story (Part Fourteen)

Stop! This is the fourteenth episode!

Looking for the beginning of Kay’s Story?

The store hadn’t been this empty for a long time. No one wanted to be inside on a sunny day like this one. Most people were out, preparing their gardens or fixing fences that had collapsed under the winter’s heavy snowfall. Kay grabbed another case of canned green beans and continued the mundane task of stocking shelves, letting her mind wander.

So far, everything was going according to plan. Sinja, a lawyer who attended the same church as Kay, had agreed to give her pro-bono legal advice. Kay’s apartment was to be approved as a child safe residence, just as soon as the necessary changes were implemented. She had the inspector’s signed report, along with copies of the paperwork from the contractor she’d hired to fix the problem areas.

But deep down, Kay couldn’t help feeling slightly worried. Baby gates, childproof locks, finishing the upstairs loft to create a nursery…. so much to do and so little time or money to do it with.

She soberly addressed the shelving unit, vocalizing the debate in her brain. “True, my friends are wonderful, but part of me just doesn’t like all these people helping. I want to be seen as confident and independent. I want to prove that I can do this myself!”

Ahem. Kay whirled around at the sound of a throat being cleared behind her and found herself staring into the bemused face of a young man who looked to be a maybe eight or so years older than her.

“I’m sorry, can I help you? I was just… I was distracted. Thinking. Out loud.” Kay felt heat rising from the tips of her toes, as tried to make her face look normal.

The stranger’s grin widened. “I figured as much. I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look at a can of green beans with such a serious and determined glare before. I almost wish I could have waited for the veggie’s reaction.”

Now, Kay’s face was beet red and she was starting to get more than a little annoyed. “Is there something you need?”

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry, here I am teasing you and you don’t even know my name. I’m Jeff and I just moved into the area from out of state. I’m pretty lost, as far as the way things are set up here. I was hoping that you could point me in the direction of the coffee syrup?”

“Coffee syrup??” Kay raised one eyebrow and tried to determine if he was pulling her leg.

“Uh, you know, the stuff you add to milk to make coffee milk. Like chocolate syrup, but coffee flavored. Comes in a brown bottle, about yea high?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a thing in my life. I’ll ask my boss, Brian, but you might just be out of luck.”

She shook off her flustered state and put on her customer service persona. “Hold on for one moment, please. I’ll go ask him right now.”

She found Brian in the back room and after listening to a five minute rant that repeatedly made use of the words “jeezum crow” and “crazy flatlanders”, Kay returned with the news that no such thing existed in the store or any of their supply catalogs.

“You’ve really never had coffee milk?”

Now it was Kay’s turn to smirk at his incredulity. “Nope. And amazingly enough, I’ve survived just fine so far.”

“Well, I’ll just have to ask my sister to send me some in the mail and I will personally bring you a glass. Say, I told you my name, but you never mentioned yours.”

She wasn’t sure if he was flirting and momentarily considered ignoring him, but somehow that seemed too rude.

“I’m Kay.” After wiping her dusty palms on her jeans, she reached out for a handshake and inwardly scolded her heart for suddenly beating faster.

To be continued…

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Kay’s Story (Part Thirteen)

Stop! This is the thirteenth episode!

Looking for the beginning of Kay’s Story?

Kay’s mother arrived breathless and exactly half an hour late. Her appearance was impeccable, as usual.  Between the door and her seat she managed to charm Kelly, the waitress, as well as several of the regular customers.

“Kay, Darling. Where’s my hug?” Kay got up from her place and an awkward embrace ensued. The stiffness was palatable and stood as an invisible barrier between them. Somehow her mother’s arms seemed to be trying to pin her down more than comfort her.

They both took a step back and stood looking at each other for a moment. Their eyes met, almost in a challenge. Nothing was said.

Her mother broke the silence briskly. “Well, we’d sit ourselves down and better order. How long do you have before you have to be at work?”

Kay peeked at her watch. “Oh, phooey. I have about twenty minutes. Maybe we’d better get muffins or something quick. Have you ever had the maple walnut pastries? I’ve heard they are insanely good.”

Ten minutes and half a muffin later, Kay cleared her throat. “Mom, I wanted to let you know, I have considered what you had to say the last time we talked. I have prayed, I have researched, I have thought long and hard. I don’t know any other way to say this, so I’ll just say it. I have decided to adopt Destiny Marie. I mean this with full respect, but as an adult, I have made this choice. I want your support and blessing, if you’ll give it, but if you won’t, my decision is still the same.”

She held her mother’s gaze firmly as she spoke.

“Kay, are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Mom. Yes.”

Her mother reached across the table and gripped Kay’s hand in her own. “Well! So, when do I get to see pictures of this new grandbaby of mine?”

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